A Lovely Lady

We are invited to our friends house for dinner and as promised (or threatened, depending on your outlook), the invitation is also extended to Alf. There are three couples, Alf and a single lady. The company is good and conversation flows. Not for the first time lately, Alf is Des (the designated driver). I love Alf but I love Des more.

Our single lady is warm, interesting, attractive and clearly loved by our hosts. I wonder what Alf is thinking. I wonder this because in between moments of coherency, I am getting seriously carried away. I can imagine Alf and Lovely Lady together! I imagine Alf and Lovely Lady enjoying a weekend with my Aunt and Uncle. I CAN SEE IT! I imagine them wandering around St Peter’s Garden Centre together. Alf is bidding on something at the auction for her. He is making her laugh while he cooks their dinner. They entertain each other with many references from their rich lives. Hell, I even imagine myself sharing an Insalata Caprese and a glass of crisp white wine al fresco at Relish with Lovely Lady. I have known Lovely Lady for about one and a half hours by this time. I know very little about her, least of all whether she even likes buffalo mozzarella. It is time to rein myself in.

I am very relaxed during this evening. Our friends are great hosts. I comment to Alf the following day that if he keeps up this good behaviour, I am going to have to write about it. He warns me against it with a flick of his hand. He is concerned it will be bad for his image.

Several days later while I am at work, I receive a message letting me know that Lovely Lady would be very happy to meet up with Alf, I squeal at my desk and forward the message to my husband who relays it verbally to Alf ,who never has his phone in his proximity.

I ask Alf daily over the next few days if he has phoned her yet. He hasn’t on the first day. He hasn’t on the second. On the third day, the answer is still no but he lets me know he intends on phoning her the following day. He looks up and says “I don’t….”.

“…wish to appear to eager”, I hazard a guess.

“Exactly”, says Alf.

We laugh. It appears the unwritten rules of the game are the same at any age.

True to his word, he does telephone Lovely Lady the next day. She greets him warmly and they chat amiably. Then Alf asks her if she has read my blog. She hasn’t yet. He gives her the site address and says she should read it and afterwards if she is still happy to see him, to give him a call.

I do not have full confidence in this strategy. I am concerned it will appear uncompromising, implying “This is me. Take it or leave it.” To take it is rather a big ask. It wouldn’t be for everyone.

He hears nothing and I periodically pester him to call again. He feels the ball is in Lovely Lady’s court. My heart sinks.

I console myself with the fact that Alf has at last abandoned his pursuit of growing his hair in favour of a haircut. He looks great. I send vibes across the island to lovely lady…..call now….call now. The love that I send out to friends and family at the end of each hatha session takes the form of colourful swirls in the general direction of Lovely Lady’s parish.

She does call and they arrange a date for dinner. Squeal! Lips in the ooooo position! Nerdy little clap! He will pick her up. He is Des!

There is a bit of concern over whether he will recognise her. A normal pre-date concern, I think to myself. We scope out her house in advance in a non-creepy way so that he knows exactly where to go on the night.

By all accounts, they enjoyed each other’s company. Alf is due to take a trip to Florida and Lovely Lady pays a surprise visit the day before he leaves. Smile larger than Julia Roberts’! Eeeeee sound!

Hands in prayer.